Some would say I’m one of the lucky ones. I have an aura prior to my seizures.
An aura is described as ‘a distinctive feeling or some other warning sign when a seizure is coming’. For those of us who have auras, they can be so different, and that’s both good and bad. Bad because they are tough to study and localize, and good because doctors can firmly say that a seizure is on its way if you do have one. I’ve had people tell me they get the taste of metal in their mouth. Some people become incredibly irritable and downright cranky. For me, I begin to think everything and everyone is familiar. It’s that ‘been there, done that’ feeling, even though there’s nothing familiar about it. Technically, it’s a feeling of de’ja’ vu. I can be walking around our downtown area close to our home and every face looks like someone I knew from my past. I know then that I must either call my husband or my Mom, or at least sit down.
Researchers say as many as 65% of us who have Epilepsy have these ‘warning signs’. Neurologists might say this is good, but I’m beginning to question them. The last few ‘bad days’ I’ve experienced have been filled with auras, which of course has led to seizures. My question is…for those of us who experience auras, do they make us live in fear of having a seizure?
No matter how extensive or complex your aura is, it’s still a warning that a seizure is coming. And, I guess that’s not so bad.
Granted there’s nothing we can do to prevent the auras, sort of like there’s nothing we can do to prevent the seizures. But still, every strange feeling I get…every wave of de’ja’ vu, I begin to panic rather than prepare. I decided last night, I must try to accept my auras and take them for what they are, a warning or a signal. I should probably feel lucky I have them so I can prepare myself and those around me.
Like most everything involved with having Epilepsy, this takes some time to get used to.