Time for an Audit…of the Personal Kind

I write about friendship often.

Friendships, along with the close bonds I have with my tiny family, really sustain me. I have always tried to be a good friend and I value and treasure the relationships I have with those who are so close to me. My group is tight-knit, and I have friends who have known me throughout this journey with Epilepsy and those who knew me long before seizures became part of my everyday life. You know someone’s a close friend when they volunteer their help or their assistance when it comes to things like errands, without any mention of it from me. In other words, there is a tremendous level of acceptance.

I think it’s because of my constant battle with seizures…I tend to really analyze comments from people. I know everyone can’t be as kind, supportive and helpful as others, but I’m someone who knows when I’m imposing, so I tend to not even go there with some people, and I HATE imposing!

After all, you’re talking to a woman who has a lot of ‘help’ in her life. I have help getting to and from my new job; I have help getting my daughter to and from school and her various activities; I have help with my appointments and errands.

What’s this all leading up to? Well, here’s the scoop…I decided last night on our loooonnnng drive to a weekend get-away in Northern Michigan, that I’m going to do an ‘audit’ of sorts. I’m tired of wondering if people are bothered by my illness. I can’t let what I believe others think of me, get me down. It’s detrimental to my health and the well-being of my family. Friends are people who love and accept you for who you are, and Epilepsy is part of who I am. If a mother doesn’t allow her child to play at our home out of fear that I’ll have a seizure and ‘scare’ her child…so be it.

Those of us with Epilepsy must be strong and we shouldn’t have to battle for acceptance. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Some of my absolutel oldest friends...my college sisters!

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Red Kitchen Accessories
May 7, 2012 at 9:23 pm

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Maggie Mendus March 21, 2011 at 4:33 pm

Hi Alysse. Did you find my message on your blog? I’m thinking that man who talked with your husband at the epilepsy conference in Novi in November might have been my husband, and I’d like to chat with you about that. Also, Russ has reserved a book table for me for this year’s conference. I have just self-published a book of 52 poems about living with epilepsy, and wonder if you might be interested. We spoke at the conference, and I would like to connect with you again.

bryan farley March 25, 2011 at 9:07 am

Hope I see you soon. Meeting you at last year’s conference in D.C. was a highlight.

BF

Maggie Mendus April 13, 2011 at 6:53 pm

Alysse, I hope it’s all right with you, but I linked to Brain Thunders on my blog and wrote a little blurb about you. I hope you type maggiemendus.wordpress.com in your address bar so you might peek at my brand-new blog. I would like it very much if you might link to me.

spooky December 11, 2011 at 8:47 pm

I know what you mean. I had epilepsy when I was a kid and now I am fifty seven and have it again. I sometimes think that an aura is about to start and I head to the floor, knowing that I only have a couple of seconds before I could have a seizure. I tell my friends to not freak out but I see them treating me different. They don’t want me to do any thing to scary. I might have a disease but I do not feel sick and am able to do the things that I have always been able to do. No longer the lonly canyon hikes or the mountain climbs or even the rafting or off fishing by myself. Thanks for this place to vent alittle.

Kim June 19, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Thanks for your post. My husband Rick has seizures. He recently had one at our son’s school. It was pretty bad and he was not with me. People that who we thought were friends suddenly are not calling and our son’s playmates seem to be unavailable for play dates. While we can still maintain our long term friendships, I’m not sure what to do about my son’s school mates and their parents. Any advice?

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