I promised myself I would never take so-called negative comments to heart, but I had to write about this one.

There are a handful of nasty comments in response to the aolhealth.com post on me and my life with Epilepsy. I thought I would share, so here goes…

“…why do people who have these disorders, which they themselves describe as horrible, life altering, etc., continue to breed. Why do they do this? Yes, she happened to have a “normal” child, but so many do not. These become the “million dollar babies” which suck the system dry. There are many children waiting to be adopted. Selfish, stupid, these are only some of the thoughts I have of them. I work in an emergency room, and after seeing some patients with these chronic, inherited diseases, sickle cell, etc., who come in in agony, screaming with pain, and then see them pregnant, it makes me want to scream myself. What are they thinking? This is not an inspiration, this is selfishness. Go out an volunteer with children who suffer from epilepsy, don’t potentially make one!..” (August 1, 2010)

Selfish? Stupid? It’s one thing to insult my blog or my choice of posts…or even how I look, but when someone insults my child, or my choice to have a child, that gets my blood boiling! I guess I never looked at my desire to start a family as selfish or stupid. And, I think it makes sense to review the facts.

First, according to the Epilepsy Foundation of America, in 70% of all Epilepsy cases, there is no known cause. The Foundation has a lot of information on its site that points to this. There is a lot of research going on right now to figure out the genetic link to Epilepsy. I have Hayden checked very carefully by her pediatrician each year, and my epileptologist (as a favor to me) does his own bit of checking as well. Do I worry that I might have passed my disorder on to my daughter? The answer is simple…yes, every hour of every day of my life. But, I have also done a ton of research on this and I know that the risk is ever-so-slight since I was diagnosed in my early 30′s after suffering from encephalitis and meningitis.

I worked closely with my epileptologists at the time, the team at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, and I also worked with a high-risk OB group at Hopkins. My pregnancy was carefully planned and incredibly watched, week-by-week.

As for my child, I pride myself on the fact that she has just as normal a life as her friends and classmates, and I work very hard at this. Does her mother have seizures? Yes, but she is cognizant of that and she knows how to react. I surround myself with people who understand and care, from my husband to my very, very close friends. So, I never worry that she is deprived of love and attention.

Will she one day have Epilepsy? That remains to be seen. I don’t know that anyone can reasonably predict this, not even my epileptologist. But, if that does happen, we are prepared, and I have a hard time believing she will become a ‘million-dollar baby’.

Mother's Day, 2010